Trials...

I have always been amazed at how little things about our personalities are reflections of our parents. This past Friday, I receive an email from my mother-in-law telling me everything that Sam and I have done wrong in the passed year. She went so far as to calling her son an "ungrateful, egotistical, spoiled brat". Wow. What would cause a mother to speak so insulting of their own son? This was caused just simply because he did not take off work to drive to Ft. Smith for her knee surgery. I can see both sides of this. So, here I am, stuck in the middle...once again. She thinks he doesn't care b/c he didn't take off. His job (police officer) doesn't allow him the flexibility to take off whenever he wants. His job requires that he find a replacement for his shift. That is not so easy to do when you work in a small city. I get stuck in the middle. Obviously, I stand behind my husband. She says I should "stand up to him" and tell him what he should be doing (which of course is what she wants, not what is right for the situation).

So here I am, once again. Dealing with a woman, who is just scared, nervous and worried about the unknown and the known of surgery, who decides it is easier to take it out on loved ones in an extremely hateful manner, instead of just saying to her son - "I'm worried. I'm nervous. I'm scared".

So this brings me back to my first statement. This little "act" that my mother-in-law pulled on Friday - it is the same little "act" that my dear husband pulls when a big change is about to take place, or is taking place. Neither one of them will admit when something is bothering them. Neither one of them will say any of those 3 little phrases and actually talk about what is on their minds until after they have pushed people away. I figured all this out this past year. (Yes, it took me 9 yrs to figure this out about my husband and Mother-in-law) Sam started working full time as a police officer this past January. 2 weeks before he started, he starts getting irritable, ugly, hateful, etc. Finally, after putting up with it for a few days, I explode. Come to find out - he is nervous about quitting his job he has been at for 5 yrs. He is worried and nervous about the new job. Even though, it was just the "unknown" and the nerves of starting a new job. Everything is going along fine. March rolls around. It is 2 weeks before he starts the police academy. A few days of the ugliness, I explode. Same story as before. He is worried about starting the academy. So - here it is...2 weeks before mother-in-law's knee surgery, and she does the exact same thing!!!! Both Sam and his sister sull up, get mad, and the "I don't want to talk to her". So, here I am, left to analyze the situation (which I will admit that I was quite upset myself over the things she said and the things of the past that are continuously brought up over and over and over. That's another story though).

After I reply with what the true problem is, all is well. For now anyways.